Expansion Through Limits

The sea gulls have been driven inland by the storms. While we are corralled by an infectious virus and sent home to camp within our own walls, upon our own little plot of earth, the sea gulls are being pushed inland and away from home. We make due with simple meals and reduced essentials, the sea gulls scavenge through the neighbor’s trash can, too full to close the lid. A misplaced opossum was out in the morning light scrounging around the wood pile for a meal. While we hide, nature pushes out.

Lately, even before the virus, I have been thinking about limitations. It began with a recognition of how much of my life I spent feeling embarrassed and ashamed by my limitations. I am that person who needs regular sleep. I get over stimulated by too much noise or activity. I need more time alone to renew than most of my friends. And so on. I don’t know why I struggled with shame and embarrassment over these, but I have. There is a clear need for me to more fully consent to the way I am designed, my limitations and my need to depend on God. In a very short time the reality of limitations took a giant leap from personal to shared worldwide. The limits on my life, and yours, are greater than any of us could have imagined only a week or so ago. As I write this I am reminded of Romans 8:22-28.

“All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” (The Message)

Our personal worlds have shrunk to the smallest I have ever experienced. People are afraid and confused. It’s understandable. Can we expand in the diminishing? Can we find ourselves growing as people while waiting in fear and anxiety? People say, “I can’t wait until we get back to normal.” Will we get back to normal? If we do get back to normal, will we have learned anything? Can we surrender and trust God, consenting to what is today? When our focus is on our Heavenly Father and not the circumstances we can be enlarged in the waiting – faith grows in the tension of the unknown.
Of course we do not know the extent of this pandemic, nor the outcome. Like Alice in Wonderland we may find, “It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.” What sort of life will we go back to when all is said and done? Some will have lost a lot in the process. Author Friedrich Von Schiller wrote, “What’s old collapses, times change, and new life blossoms in the ruins.” So much of the time we don’t like change. Some will face greater ruin, while others will appear to have barely been affected. Will we be able to see new life pushing up through the ruins, like a wild plant presenting itself through a crack in the sidewalk?
I do not have the answers, nor do I pretend to know what you need, but I find it interesting how two desert Fathers handled waiting and hard times.

“It was said of Abba Theodore and Abba Luscious of Alexandria that for fifty years they encouraged each other by saying, ‘Once the winter is over we’ll leave this place.’ But when the summer came, they would say, ‘We’ll go once this hot spell is over.’ This is how they always spoke.” (Found in Lent with the Desert Fathers by Thomas McKenzie)

Can we handle this hardship for 5 more minutes, 1 more hour, or 1 more day? We can. We are doing it, we must. We can choose to live with these limitations for one more hour, not planning for the next week or the next month. As we are discovering we do not know anything for certain about tomorrow, let alone next week. I like Mary Englebreit’s rephrasing of Charles Dicki


nson’s opening line of The Tale of Two Cities, “Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it’s the only time you’ve got.” How can we make this time count for something? We are required to be socially distanced from one another but we are not alone. All of us are going through this together. How can we spur one another to hold on for 5 more minutes, 1 more hour, or one more day? So many have posted beautiful and encouraging words. Others have offered free classes for creatives. People are showing up.
We are all doing without something, some more than others. There are those who are going without enough sleep and protection to keep hospitals open. Others going without their usual income. The list could go on and on. As of today, my losses have not been so great. So I look around and consider what I have gained and pray for those who are suffering greatly.
I have gained more time to connect with others. I can do this by calling, texting, writing, emailing or using Google Duo.
I have gained time to weed. Our yard is out of control from the rain.
I have gained time to complete projects for which we have the supplies.
I have an opportunity to be creative and resourceful.
I have an opportunity to connect with and care for neighbors, though not too close.
I have an opportunity to be enlarged in the waiting – to see up close what I have and didn’t notice when my world was large.

These are difficult and challenging times. Ask for help. Give help wherever you can. We are in this together. We can decide whether to do social distancing only, or isolate. There is a difference. Here are a few links I found encouraging this week.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/m6Uw2DJ9Md8

https://emilypfreeman.com/podcast/the-next-right-thing/120/

How are you making sense of your day to day existence as your social world shrinks? What is helping you? I would love to hear from you. Share with others in the comments below what you are discovering about yourself, others, God and His grace.

A Moody Sort of Day

The weather was moody at the beginning of the week. One minute it was dark gray, then sunny, then gray again. It couldn’t seem to make up its mind and neither could I. I sat looking out the window at our tangerine tree and my heart was filled with a longing to write but uncertain what to offer up. My mood seemed as fickle as the weather. I thought it was the dark clouds of a moody Monday but today is a bright, sunny day and I still feel a little off. It makes no sense.

Ever have one of those days or weeks when your mood is off and you aren’t sure what is going on? I am not talking about depression, just a mood. It is important that I first recognize this is a feeling, not my reality. The mood might not lift right away and it may be more difficult to stay focused on projects at hand. It’s the mindless tasks I can get through on days like this. Tasks like laundry, chopping vegetables, cleaning, weeding, etc. – ordinary, everyday chores keep me tethered to life giving activity. The sluggish pull of moodiness has the greatest impact on my writing, listening and studying.

A funny memory just popped up regarding being stuck. When I was in early elementary school we lived in a new house and there were places in the yard that were just dirt, no grass. A good downpour turned parts of our backyard into a grand mud puddle. The sight of it drew my brother and me out to explore. We put on our rain boots and marched outside as if we were joining Pooh Bear and Christopher Robin on an expedition. Soon one of us would completely walk right out of a boot. The mud had latched onto the boot sucking it down into its gooey grasp. The bootless child would stand on one foot, wobbling like a drunk pelican (never saw one but I can imagine) trying to free the boot from the mud. The sibling would try to help but usually we would find ourselves standing on each other’s feet. Then we would yell for Mom. She’d put on her boots and rescue all mud trapped boots and the two children struggling not to put their unclad feet down into the squishy mess. Sometimes Mom would get stuck too but eventually we were all free because Mom knew how to deal with mud.

“Christopher Robin was sitting outside his door, putting on his Big Boots. As soon as he saw the Big Boots, Pooh knew that an Adventure was going to happen, and he brushed the honey off his nose with the back of his paw, and spruced himself up as well as he could so as to look Ready for Anything.”

– A. A. Milne

Even though Mom may not have been able to keep from getting stuck too, she knew how to get us all free. Sometimes I need to look for a more able bodied person(s) to show me the way of getting unstuck. Like the four friends of the paralytic in Mark 2:1-12. The paralytic was at the mercy of his friends. Four of his friends carried him to a home where Jesus was speaking. It was crowded. Elbows everywhere blocked the way. So like any reasonably desperate friends, they made a hole in the roof above Jesus. It was a hole big enough to lower their friend down through, mat and all. Don’t you think there was a bit of a commotion below as the roof was being removed? Everyone must have looked up in surprise as the man was lowered down through the hole. The faith of the paralytic and his friends resulted in forgiveness and healing; the paralytic was able to pick up his mat and elbow his way back out through the crowd.

One thing I noticed when I am a bit moody is I often haven’t had enough fellowship with friends. I am an introvert who is involved in ministering to others, so I come home and renew in the quiet. But sometimes I don’t recognize my need to hang out with my friends – the people who know me well, make me laugh, challenge me to go deeper with Christ, and help me with hard things. Introverts need people too and when I forget to make time for friends I can get moody.

When you feel sluggish and moody what do you do to move past the mood and live in the reality of today? Here are a few practical things I need to check when I feel this way:

• How long have I been sitting? Do I need a walk?
• Do I need to find a quiet place and have a talk with Jesus?
• Am I drinking enough water?
• Have I had too much sugar today?
• When was the last time I had an uplifting talk with a friend?
• When was the last time I took a play break? A play break will be different things for different people. Playing, for me, usually means doing something creative without a driving purpose.
• Am I in need of a healthy, home cooked meal? Curried Pumpkin Sweet Potato soup, a comfort food with a touch of the exotic, fills our home with the spicy scent of a far away place. It makes me smile.

Mini mood lifters

• A stroll around the yard to see what’s blooming.
  Today I took a cup of tea and wandered around the back yard. The Michaelmus Daisy bush, which nearly died last summer, is bursting with cheery dark pink blossoms. The Sweet Pea bush I got for Jim in memory of his Mom the Mother’s Day after she died has grown and is covered in small purple and yellow blooms. The Jasmine and Wisteria smell lovely. And the most amazing thing: the Sweet Peas I planted from seed are growing and I hardly ever get seeds to produce plants. That little stroll lifted my spirits and filled my heart with gratitude.
• A delicious cup of tea. I like French Vanilla with creamer. Good Earth tea not only tastes good but fills the room with a warm, spicy scent.
• Spend a few minutes reading an encouraging passage of Scripture or a nice bit of poetry.
• Listen to birds, wind chimes or classical music.
• A few minutes of silence with my heart inclined to the Holy Spirit.
• Giving thanks and offering up praise to God.
• Write a haiku. This doesn’t have to be professional. It is a fun way to describe the day.
• Turn on music and dance. Movement helps make a shift in the brain and lightens the mood.

Moods come and go. Sometimes a mood is just a mood. Other times a mood comes over me because I have neglected to have a necessary hard conversation with someone, or I was hurt earlier in the day and ignored it. When the mood is tied to a neglected responsibility it is important I take steps to face it. If I have been hurt I may need talk to the person who hurt me or I may need to find a healthy way to process it. Journaling, praying, and talking to a safe person are all good ways to process hurt feelings. I certainly don’t want to stay stuck in a bad mood because I didn’t take responsibility for myself.

Today I just needed a walk around the yard and take a nice, long walk through the neighborhood. I also scheduled a couple of dates with friends for the weekend. So if you are like me and you sometimes have a moody Eeyore sort of day try something different. Make a list of things that work for you and share it with the rest of us. Like Eeyore, someone might find one of your ideas will work for them too.

“But, Eeyore,” said Pooh in distress, what can we – I mean, how shall we – do you think if we – "

“Yes,” said Eeyore. “One of those would be just the thing. Thank you, Pooh.”

– A. A. Milne

*Photos by Jim Joiner and edited by Julie Joiner