Out for a walk I turn toward home, going west on Palomar Street. At the top of the hill I look out over houses and traffic to admire our view of the Pacific Ocean. Above me white, puffy clouds creep in ahead of the marine layer as if torn from the front edge escaping the thick gray covering. Eventually the sky is filled with steel gray and a moist, cool air mass hovers over me. The next day, mid-morning, we were still in the gray. By afternoon the heat of the sun backed the gray mass up and off shore. I love watching the marine layer move in over land. There are times while walking from the top of Palomar toward home, I walk right out of the sunshine and under the damp gray.
Puffy clouds preceding the solid gray covering remind me of my struggle with rest and not the kind you get while sleeping. I am referring to entering the rest Christ offers and living life from that place of rest. It is hard for us to imagine. Most of us move through life with an urgency. Like clouds preceding the marine layer, I tear away at rest, getting a chunk of it here and a chunk there. I have yet to enter the full rest – the rest of deep trust – a place where I absolutely live in complete dependence on Him. And the beauty of this rest is His invitation to a restorative rest. Will I continue to tear bits and pieces of rest from a full rest of renewal or will I allow Him to fully cover me in His restorative rest?
The
temptation after a long period invested in a necessary yet draining
work of love is to quickly find something else to pour myself into.
It takes real effort to sit with loss, sadness, slowdowns and unmet
needs. This is a place for tending to our souls and to spend more
time, in the Presence of Jesus, resting, renewing and listening. I
often feel a false sense of guilt about not carrying the weight of a
big responsibility and edge toward filling the gap with “shoulds”
instead of waiting on the Lord’s invitation.
When a long, arduous work of love or a colossal deadline is completed, time is needed for releasing and preparing for where God will lead. This summer I have been invited to rest. I was a little surprised at how uncomfortable I felt with this invitation. I am less driven than the culture at large and more apt to spend time doing what others might consider a waste of time. Yet there is a low rumbling narrative telling me my value is dependent on what I do, not who I am. This message distracts me from hearing God.
Can you relate? Do you find it difficult to rest and tend your soul for any amount of time, not to mention a significant period of time? What is God’s invitation to you this summer?
This rest I am invited to is one of drawing the circle a little tighter. Tending to the relationships with myself, God and my husband are the highest priorities while waiting on God to reveal what is next. Then investing in close friendships, family relationships and the handful of people I minister to one-on-one. Not adding to or taking from but being more present in what is now.
Have you ever had a time when you knew the circle of activities must be drawn tighter? What life experience brought this about? Are you uncomfortable living with limitations? Or do you find yourself pushing against your limits, believing you should be more and do more?
In what season of life do you find yourself? Are you in between times? What are you invited to during this time? I would love to hear!
Photos by Laura Smith
