Consenting to My Life

 

The month of October slipped by without a word from me. And November is trying to make an escape as well. I can tell you I have truly missed meeting you here. It has been a season of:

• Weddings
• Trips with family
• Writing deadlines
• Trips to the doctor – Jim is just over half way through the 35 radiation treatments
• Celebrating a significant birthday (#60. Ouch!) I started celebrating early.
• Conflicted interactions with 4 kittens who have chosen our back yard for a part-time home and litter box
• Lunches out with Jim’s Dad and my Mom
• Reading and preparing for the next Spiritual Formation retreat
• More than the usual amount of dental work.

I have been so busy and challenged in other ways that I find myself moved to tears by moments of beauty. It is good to pause and appreciate beautiful moments, places and people. And just a few things going on in our lives. Every year I think I will slow down in October and November to enjoy the changing of the seasons, though not too noticeable around here. But nearly every year in the fall, life gives me a shove and sends me sliding downhill into Christmas. Not ready for that at all. I love the season of Thanksgiving. I prefer not to rush it. But it was October as usual for me after all, with a few extras woven throughout.

Here are some highlights of October. It was such fun dancing with my Aunt Janice at my niece’s wedding. This was the first time dancing with her since I was a kid. She taught me how to dance years ago. We still got it! Several family members got up and danced to the group dances. It was shocking when the list included the father of the bride. The day trip to see the Grand Canyon before heading back home was wonderful. The vastness and beauty of the Canyon were more than I could absorb. It was like trying to swallow a whole meal in one bite. Impossible! I had to savor what I could and accept a return visit will be necessary. My Mom came home with us after the wedding. We had fun shopping, drinking coffee and working on projects together.

 

A deadline is pulling time out from under me and I scramble to keep up. I am being challenged by His Spirit to face each day differently – from a place of acceptance and trust. When so many wonderful gatherings are crammed into little squares of time, I feel overwhelmed; I am learning to consent. What do I mean by that? I am saying “Yes” to the life I’ve been given at this moment and to trust God for grace and strength. I don’t mean I resign myself to this messy life but I consent to it. I am truly a beginner in understanding what this means, but in the words of Jacques Philippe, writer of Interior Freedom, I discovered an invitation to let go and trust in a way I had never considered before.

“The ultimate difference between resignation and consent is that with consent, even though the objective reality remains the same, the attitude of our hearts is very different. . . . That act of consent, therefore, contains faith in God, confidence toward him, and hence also love, since trusting someone is already a way of loving him. . . . First of all, the most important thing in our lives is not so much what we can do as leaving room for what God can do. The great secret of all spiritual fruitfulness and growth is learning to let God act. . . . Yet one of the most essential conditions for God’s grace to act in our lives is saying yes to what we are and to the situations in which we find ourselves. That is because God is ‘realistic’. His grace does not operate on our imaginings, ideals, or dreams. It works on reality, the specific, concrete elements of our lives.”

Still there are boundaries to be set with people. This is all part of consenting to who and what has come into my life, and then praying how I am to respond. What are my responsibilities? My little experience has given me a hint of the freedom I can have when I let go of control and take a pass on wishful thinking. Accepting and consenting to the reality of all God allows in my life requires me to trust Him more and depend on Him to guide me to make wise decisions. I consent to the things the Father allows into my life. This is a doorway to freedom and contentment. I don’t always remember this but it is my desire to by way of saying a prayer of consent each morning. This prayer includes the things I know about and the things I don’t know about. It is a prayer of consent to the person He has created me to be, as well as consent to the wonderful but painful journey of being transformed.

So what are you learning? What is currently filling the days of your life?