Clean,
fresh, crackly white – like the first sheet of paper in a brand new
journal. This is how I feel about the new year. I love the way
starting afresh feels, like a perfectly tailored dress. But January
quickly becomes messy and scribbled all over and the only way I can
claim the freshness is to be still, to listen and pray, journal and
seek God's direction for 2016. If I focus on all the busyness begging
to claim the squares on the calendar and robbing me of open space and
breathing room, I soon begin to lose the joy and hope of what God
wants to do. And my spirit soon feels deflated and worn like the
Christmas inflatables up and down our street that just weeks ago
seemed all bright and cheery, having brought smiles to faces of those
passing by. Now their appearance is glum and messy.
And
here it is only 9 days into the new year and the clean pages on the
calendar have been snagged from behind and taken captive by events
unexpected. “This is life,” I tell myself. But I whine, “Can't
I just pull away for a day's worth of peace and quiet to get on solid
ground before the tumult begins?” I have stolen moments and pulled
away to seek direction, wisdom and strength. The hurts of others
struggling press in on me and I long to make it all better for them,
but I am just little ol' me and I am not God. Discovering the places
He invites me to join Him is the purpose of eeking out quiet space
and listening.
My
reaction to the unexpected, to needs and activities taking away my
days before I have had time to think and plan reminds me of the two
choices Ann Voskamp writes about: “complain or communion.” This
is the year I am opening myself to increased contentment. “Complain
or communion” is simple, but a challenging reminder of the choices
I have when things aren't going the way I want them to go. Three C's.
Communion
– Complaining = contentment
or
Contentment
– complaining = communion
Either
way you figure it, complaining and discontent get in the way of
communion with the Father. And it doesn't attract healthy fellowship
in the Body either. I cringe when I think of being short of
contentment; it is a little embarrassing considering how great God is
and how wonderfully He cares for me. It is a reminder the big picture
isn't about me, I am just blessed to be a part of the story.
Digging
about for words on contentment I came across this footnote by Charles
Stanley, “We find our greatest source of contentment, of course, is
a delightful relationship with Jesus Christ.” The seeds of
contentment grow when rooted in an intimacy focused sharply on Jesus.
Writing about Jesus feeding the 5,000 with a boy's lunch of 5 loaves
and 2 fish, Jennifer Kennedy Dean added an exclamation point to my
need for contentment with this line:
“It's
not what you have, it's who I AM that defines the situation.”
My
biggest area of discontent is lack of time to do things important to
me. When I read Jennifer's words on lack versus Jesus, it occurred to
me that He has given me all the time I need. He multiplies our little
to so much more. Reinforcement from Savannah at ramblingsmom.com,
“Contentment isn't about what we have. It's a matter of the heart
being; satisfied with what God has allowed for us in our lives.”
“Rejoice
always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is
God's will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NASB).
It all circles back to gratitude and trust. If I trust in Him that
all things are working together for good (Romans 8:28) then I can be
grateful, and content in all circumstances. Oh, for sure I know this
is a heart-change requiring the transforming power of His Spirit.
I have a recording of Bob Benson in which he speaks about "belonging." Belonging to Christ is one of my favorite thoughts and it buoys me in rough seas of discontent.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing. Belonging is a beautiful word and a significant need.
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