Normal Is Just Dust

When I was a child every classroom had a large chalkboard hanging on the wall. At the end of the day the chalkboard was wiped clean with chalkboard erasers. To clean the erasers you would pound them together until the air filled with white dust, which then settled on everything around you. I always think of New Years as an opportunity to wipe the slate clean and make a new start, but I now recognize I have deceived myself. Rounding the corner into a new year is a bit like cleaning chalk boards at the end of the day. The old year has been neatly packed away along with the Christmas decorations. Or has it? This is a good time to start anew, but the old year doesn’t just vanish as if nothing happened. I’ve pounded the erasers but the dusty residue of the previous year clings to me still. I can do a new thing but the old year holds on and rides in with me.

Someone posted on Facebook that they hoped this year would be back to normal. I have
been considering what this might mean. I have said this very thing. What is it we hope for when we long for life to go back to normal? I think we imply that we want things back to the way they were before some big, disruptive event happened: like Christmas, a death, illness, a deadline, etc. What would normal look like for you?

Whatever in my life that has interrupted my normal has also certainly changed me in some way, therefore my normal will never look the same. I suspect normal is a wishful idea, it is illusive, always changing. I wear last year’s dust; I have been permanently impacted by last year’s experiences and I am not the same. There is no going back to the way it was. I wouldn’t fit in that space any longer even if I recognized it for what is once was, my idea of normal.

Feel free to disagree, but I don’t believe “normal” is a real thing. I believe it is something we created in our minds to make ourselves feel safe, but life is always changing and we can’t pin this thing called normal down to one place. According to Merriam Webster, “normal” means: “conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern”. Some people manage to conform to a regular work schedule for a number of years and that becomes their normal. We need routines and standards to keep our lives from falling completely apart and spilling out all over the place.

But overall how many people do you know who have a “normal” life that stays the same, one they can go back to? Someone whose kids never grew up or moved away? Someone who held the same job, without having to learn new skills? OK, this may be splitting hairs, but why do we want to go back? And why are we convinced that the “normal” of yesterday still exists?

Recognizing and embracing change can be challenging. But whether or not we recognize it, the dust of all we experienced the year before hangs about in the air and rests upon our very souls. We can’t shake it. We can spend all our energy denying it and wishing it away, which in itself changes us, or we can expand and step into our new space. It is a space that enlarges us and increases our trust in God. Going back to what we consider “normal” shrinks our very existence to the limits of the past – long past anything exciting, scary, sad, tragic, wonderful, or adventurous ever happened. Though I may wish to go back to normal; I can only imagine it because in reality I am not sure what it looks like.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up in you: do you not perceive it?” (Isaiah 43:18-19). How do I forget the former things and move forward into the new, especially if it is painful? I have found no other way than to grieve what was, lay it at the Savior’s feet and seek His comfort. In the five stages of grief the final stage is acceptance. It is the painful movement from loss to acceptance that brings us to a place of embracing what is new and shedding sad or angry feelings toward what I may experience as a loss. I speak from my own hard work of letting go of what was and embracing all things new.

“Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentation 3:20-23). Knowing Him more profoundly increases trust. A deep knowing of who Jesus is and how the Father works in our lives, and recognizing His never ending love and compassion for us carries us forward and holds us up with hope when we move into a new year, new neighborhood, new anything. Living in the reality of His love and His kingdom is the only way we can embrace the truth of transformation and our inability to return to “normal”.

Lysa Terkuerst (Proverbs 31 Ministry) wrote on Instagram: “Dust doesn’t signify the end. It’s often what must be present for the new to begin. . . . Dust happens to be one of God’s favorite ingredients. After all, He had access to every ingredient and He chose to make [His] favorite creation, mankind, from dust. From the dust came new life. And the same is true for our circumstances as well.”

I challenge myself and anyone else who cares to be challenged, we are wearing the dust of last year and there is no going back. Embrace the journey Jesus has placed you on. He means to make us into His likeness and this isn’t meant to be a comfortable or normal journey. What are you doing to cultivate a closer relationship with Jesus? What are you willing to sacrifice in order to experience the new thing He longs to do in you? Can you embrace the dust leftover from last year? Watch Him do a new thing!