Waiting

“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.” (Psalm 130:5)

Waiting. We are waiting. We have been in a hold for several weeks – waiting for important results and directions. Aren’t we all waiting for something? We go in and out of periods of waiting. In the waiting I recognize I have a preference for how I want things to turn out. I also recognize I have a choice: make demands or express my desires and release my preferences to the One who knows best. In the waiting I often find myself doing battle with anxiety, not resting in trust. It’s like catch and release fishing. I release my desires and anxieties to Jesus, reel them back in, only to release them again. There are times when this goes on all day long, and at the end of the day I am worn out from the struggle. And there are better days – days when I don’t allow my longings to be cast out and hooked into anxiety; I rest in Him.

When I am in a spot of waiting, I would rather be in a position like Pooh Bear stuck in Rabbit’s hole. His friends came and read to him and kept him entertained while he waited. And so sometimes I find myself scrolling social media to forget my anxiety – to avoid the struggle of releasing – I go face down and numb out. But when I surface I meet my anxiety waiting at the top; and in addition, I’ve gathered a gloomy fog from boring into an unsatisfactory escape.

Unlike Pooh Bear who is shrinking while he waits in order to be released from Rabbit’s hole, I am enlarged in the waiting. “All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain through out the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarge in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy. Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along.” (Romans 8:22-26, The Message)

As difficult as it seems, much good comes from waiting, particularly if I don’t allow waiting to paralyze me. What have you learned from waiting? What do you do while waiting? It certainly depends on the type of wait as to what I will do. If I find myself waiting for an appointment, I read. If in a long line I may talk with people around me. My husband has been weeding like crazy while waiting – getting things caught up.

Here in this place of limbo, I cling to what I know to be true of God the Father. Nothing gets past Him and He is bigger than the wait. Worry says, “Things will grow worse if the wait is too long.” The Spirit reminds me no matter how long the wait, what God determines will happen; no wait will change God’s will for us. And so we wait trusting the news we receive will be what He planned all along, and He will make us able to persevere and glorify Him in the process.

I found these words from Adele Ahlberg Calhoun’s book, Invitations From God, helpful on the topic of waiting: “Waiting is how God’s people develop the conviction, humility and longing to know they need saving and that only God can save them. . . . To wait is not to sublimate or repress desire. God tells us to voice our desires. But expressing what we long for is different from demanding that God or someone else give it to us. Between desire and demand there is a space – a transformative space of waiting. This space is a litmus test of what’s in our hearts. Do we trust God’s goodness over the long haul, admitting that we don’t always know what is best for ourselves or others? . . . The space between desire and demand is a risky waiting place. It is the place where we go to wait with God and let go of control. The place between desire and demand can hold longings, disappointments, loss, unmet expectations, joys and deep gratitude. It is the place where we learn to attach ourselves fully to God’s will rather than our own so we can wait with open hands, and with hope and trust. . . . (Ps. 62:1-3) . . . waiting is not an empty moment but a moment in which a strong and comforting God dwells. . . . Waiting is that holy place where my heart can be converted, my character honed and hope focused.”

May you find yourself more fully attached to God and your heart enlarged in hope eternal as your wait comes to a close.